|
Dear
Athena: My hair is getting quite thin as I celebrate each birthday.
I Dear
Thin and Gray: We all seek good people who work magic in cosmetology
no |
|
| Dear
Athena: I have been plump, at times fat most of my life. My weight
goes up or down depending on how my life is going at the time. My problem is my personality. I feel trapped. The real me has never been developed. My family was severely strict and confining. My frustration is pampered with food and has been since I was very young. Do you have any ideas that would help me at this late stage of the game? Frustrated, Middleboro Dear Frustrated: A person's personality is easy to recognize, but difficult to define. It is also something that is released from within a person and something that is superficially expressed. How certain are you that this is the reason for your overweight condition? While working with men and women, over the years, the most successful results occurred by those determined to make a change in their life. Whether it was their weight or how they presented their image, they wanted to change. The most impressive results occurred when we did a crash course over a period of 30 days. We would videotape the person in a leotard, take a "before" picture and hand them their eating program. Exercise became a way of life from that moment on. During this period of time, they were told they were in the process of change, it was up to them. This determination accelerated the positive results. After four weeks, their "after" picture revealed a different person. Eight out of ten people exhibited more confidence, assurance and a sense of self. Yes, the hairstyles, makeup, and trim bodies were great, but the most dramatic change was their hidden self that had been pushed down for a long time. We uncovered this part with various exercises that startled the shy ones into a more smiling, cheerful and outgoing personality. We patiently worked together on the part that was waiting to be revealed. Are you saying this is what you are experiencing and need to express? The inner and outer person works as a unit. When the pieces fit well, there is synergy, in which the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. A person who has a poor or inhibited personality has not been able to express the creative self lying dormant within. The word inhibit literally means to stop, prevent or restrain. Do you feel you never developed your true inner self? The fact you are aware of why you are overweight is encouraging. This is the beginning of change. First, I suggest you talk with your primary doctor and get her/his opinion on this matter. Get a medical clearance, then work on your image. All you need is desire - it is never too late. |
| Dear
Readers: Meeting TV, stage or movie stars was part of my work as a
host for a daily half-hour TV show, "WOMAN" over 3 decades ago. When these stars were appearing in the area, we could count on having them on my show, as we offered them the exposure they were seeking. Danny Thomas, Lloyd Bridges, The Righteous Brothers, Tony Bennett, Joe Williams, just to name a few were my guests that became friends. At that time, my late husband, Charlie and I enjoyed going to Las Vegas for some R & R. I would schedule my steam bath and massage while Charlie would play golf with a couple of men who came from the New England area. In the evening, we would catch a show and see these people backstage after their performance. One time in the late 1970s my daughter, Candi went with us on this trip. We had never seen Buddy Hackett but had heard he was awesome. He was appearing at the Sahara Hotel and Casino that week. As luck would have it, we were seated at a ringside table. Buddy would bend over and bounce off his remarks to several tables on either end of the stage. He was energetic, bold and shocking with his stories. At the conclusion of the show, he came to our table apologized if he had gone over-board and invited us to join him backstage in his dressing room where a group of less than ten people were gathered. That was the beginning of our long friendship. We kept in touch and when he appeared later that year, he invited Candi and I to stay at his place which was a lovely home owned by the hotel for the stars who were headliners at the hotel like Johnny Carson, Don Rickles and Buddy. When we got to Las Vegas we rented a car and for all practical purposes we used his place as a hotel room. The housekeeper was pleasant and accomodating, offering us food or beverages as we relaxed by the pool. The thing that was remarkable about this visit was getting to know Buddy Hackett. Everyone knows his act was loud, boisterous and often vulger with no mincing of words. A person would assume he would exude a little bit of this energy at home. But to our surprise, he kept to himself. We hardly saw him except just before going to the showroom, then later backstage and getting something to eat at some spot. They say most performers or actors have dual personalities. When they are on stage their public personality is flashed on full-throttle. When they are finished, they seem to quietly curl up in their shell, barely calling attention to themselves. I do have to say, there was one time when he did not like the attitude of a newspaper person who had come backstage. Buddy looked at the man and said, "I don't care what it is you want, I would like you to leave - now. Please go." And that was that. Buddy was outspoken, but never a phony. We are going to miss him. When we meet people for the first time we need to know what we see may not be exactly what the person is all about. Talented people in various fields, not just show business, have a tendency to display one side of their personality at certain times, then when the curtain closes and the lights go down the other side emerges. |
|
| Dear
Athena: I have been using a famous name in skin care for over 10 years.
Blackheads and rough, dry skin still annoy me. My co-worker uses products that are mis-matched still her skin looks fabulous. What do I do? D.G., Middleboro Dear D.G.: We have been told and common sense dictates, paying more for products means we get better quality. We will put on hold this discussion of the merits of drug store and department store skin care products as I give you an inexpensive way to take care of your skin for now. You don't have to pay a great deal of money for products for your face and body to get great results. You pay for expensive packaging and advertising when purchasing exclusive product lines that can be disappointing. If your skin needs an earth-shaking mask to uproot blackheads, or a series of skin treatments to correct a dry skin, then you should be seeing a dermatologist. Don't look for overnight miracles. Your face did not get in this condition overnight. Make an effort to stabilize the texture of your facial skin with gentle, sluffing action. To prove my point, I suggest using the most simple items that are in your home. If not, they can be found in your supermarket, drugstore or health food store. Make a list and go shopping now. First, begin by putting aside all soaps you have been using on your face. For the short duration, we are going to attempt to put some life back into the facial skin by eliminating harsh, drying agents. 1. CRISCO. Step into your pantry or supply shelf and pull out a can of Crisco or solid vegetable oils. You are going to keep this in your bathroom cabinet. 2. SALT. A small container of salt provides a 1/2 teaspoon when cleaning facial skin. 3. OLD WASH CLOTHS. Select a dozen older wash cloths. Keep in a neat pile near sink. 4. WITCH HAZEL. A bottle of witch hazel is going to be your toner. 5. OLIVE OIL. A small bottle of olive oil to replenish the moisture. .Your can of Crisco is your life-saver. Take a small amount and "break it down" by rubbing hands together to liquefy it. . Never put a glob directly on your skin. Easy does it. A small amount will do. Apply on forehead, down the cheeks, down to the throat area. Massage gently. Make sure a thin layer is spread evenly. . Take a wash cloth, run hot-to-warm water over it. Squeeze, then take off the vegetable oil. Wipe off at least 2 or 3 times . Next, apply a thin coat of olive oil over the face and throat. Shake about 1/4 tsp. of salt on your fingers, rotate them slightly all over, light and easy with no heavy pressure. Work on the nose area, where blackheads collect. . Take another wash cloth and run warm water over it to take off the salty, oil rub off. Repeat until it feels clean and smooth. . Now, run cool water, splash your face at least 15 times. No cheating here! There seems to be magic in that number. Just ask Irene Litchfield from Brockton who told me recently she still does this routine and loves the benefits. Not bad for over 20 years of dedicated skin care. . Finish your cleansing by running a handful of cotton (or cotton balls) under cold water, squeezing well, then apply the witch hazel as a toner to close the pores. . Last, apply a bit of the olive oil around the eye area by pressing lightly, and dab all over the face or on dry patches of skin. That's it! Plain, simple and to the point. You will love the clean feeling and wonderfully smooth texture of your facial skin. |
|
| Dear
Readers: We are covering The Art of Relaxation. There are six major areas we need to address before achieving complete freedom from mental, physical and emotional stress. One can achieve peace of mind if the desire is genuine. Chatter seems to satisfy some who love to complain and genuinely need an issue to chew on. These hidden issues reside within them.Do you have a pet peeve or a gripe? Do you know someone who does? So far, we have looked at: 'Forgive', 'Be Yourself', and 'Frustration'. HOLDING A GRUDGE You are mad. Your feelings have been hurt. You will show this person you won't take their stupid behavior lightly anymore.Why is it people seem to pick on you, even take advantage of you? Is it your nice self that encourages their behavior? This anger that resides within, ready to spring into action, makes for a tense person. Then we wonder why we become tense and can't relax.You have made up your mind, you are changing things. When someone says something unkind from now on, you are going to give it to them with both barrels.Guess what? You have managed to turn the shotgun on yourself. You are the one suffering from resentment while poisoning your physical and mental self. The other person may not even know you are thinking about them!I told you it would be difficult at first, but I promise once you get a taste of freedom,that cannot be bought, you will wonder why it took you so long to see that people are basically people with their own set of faults. I ask, "Are you ready to become the person you can be without blaming everybody else for your shortcomings?" Yes, desire can make difficult things happen. |
|
| Dear
Readers: We have been covering 'The Art of Relaxation'. This is the
sixth and last part. When we attempt to relax completely we first begin by relaxing physically. It is then a person begins to focus on different issues that reside within them that make them restless.We call these areas our inner disturbance. They hamper a person's total release of mental and physical tension. We have covered the last five: 'Forgive', 'Be Yourself', 'Frustration', 'Holding a Grudge', and 'Self-Fulfillment'. The last one is: HEALTH and WELL-BEING We learn to listen to our body. The proper workings of this 'machine' become familiar to each one of us. When the digestive system acts up, we are forced to be more observant of our food intake. If the muscular system is getting our attention, we watch our physical activity. But when our internal organs begin to react for no obvious reason, concern becomes necessary. This human machine serves us well, if we serve it with care and attention.The vitality and energy which runs this machine diminishes over time. For some, their body is more resistant to disease than others and will perhaps last longer and age slower as a result of several factors. Here is where confusion reigns. For years individual scientists have looked into the 'why' some people live a more carefree life than others - live longer and are pain-free for the most part. Do these people have a strong constitution? Or, do some people have this 'mental energy' or 'life force' that is difficult to explain? A person's total well-being begins and ends with their mind. Dr. Hans Selye has written a book for lay people called 'The Stress of Life'. In it he tells us the body is equipped to maintain itself in health and remain yourhful by coping with the factors we call aging. The body's own defense mechanism can be stimulated when it is deficient to overcome a disease or to heal other stress factors. This places importance on nonspecific therapy that helps us overcome our 'small aches and pains'. Improvement of many body functions, including eyesight (which we covered in the past) are helping many people feel younger and more active. A great deal of work is being focused on mind control. If a person is in control of their center, the body will function well, undisturbed by outside factors. I recommend a person get into yoga, meditation, or insight into spirituality to allow the mind and body to release tension and allow energy to travel freely through and around the total person. We often worry ourselves sick wondering what is happening within our body. This preoccupation builds a tension that becomes a habit, which then becomes a factor in disturbing the serenity of the total person. As they say, it is not the problem that is bothering a person, but the worry has become an issue. I, personally believe the peace and quiet we all seek for ourselves is waiting for each and every one of us to have. We just need to 'see' what it is we have to learn, as this is a huge classroom where we study the book of life. |
|
|
| Dear
Athena: My buddy tells me to tone down my overpowering competitiveness
when playing tennis with him. I have always been aggressive. My business
is successful because of it. Can you tell me how I can soften up on
the tennis court? F.B., Taunton Dear F.B.: Is your friend trying to tell you to change your winning ways? Most Americans, as children, learn combatitive games like football or hockey early on. We play to win and turn every activity into a contest, eventually aiming for a trophy. Competition is a way of life for most of us. Even in the workplace, jobs can pit us against each other. This spirit of winning is what has made this country great, some people say. Then, there are those who feel too many carry this competitiveness into everything they do and don't know when to stop. The competition between siblings is known to parents, especially between brothers. Sibling relationships can be severe except twin brothers, which are the most intense of all. As for you, it might be something you enjoy engaging in and are able to turn it off when it doesn't feel right. Or, it can be all consuming and out of control - an obession you feel is natural no matter where you are and what you are doing - even playing tennis with a friend. Do you think you play better when you play to win? You have admitted to being competitive in business and are aware of your desire to win in tennis, as well. Sports psychologists reporting on recent studies on competitiveness say that athletes who have a personal goal in any sport - to shoot a 73 on the golf course, or run a mile 20 seconds faster than they did 4 weeks ago, will shoot better and run faster than the athletes who just concentrate on beating the opponents. This focus on their personal skill can be attributed to their success and to their efforts rather than making excuses for losing or not beating someone else.But, you find competition fun, don't you? Is your drive to succeed and outdo others in all matters a part of your personality? I suggest you learn to manage competition. When you compete with a friend, you both want to improve your game and have fun. You help each other by raising the overall quality of your game. The result of a life devoted to being aggressive and competitive is constant uncertainty. Think of the mental and physical exhaustion that surrounds this person along with a slice of negativity that can be sour-tasting to many.Do you think you are competing more than is necessary and perhaps a lot more than you need to be? Ask yourself what are you trying to prove - and to whom? |
{Newspaper Columns} {Self Help} {About Athena} {Order} {Links} {Home}
PO Box 218
Holbrook, MA 02343
781-767-0203